


Quod Si Non Amore Tuo In Corde Meo Ferro?

by eddiewrites307



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: (baBY DONT HURT ME), Canon Divergence, Don't Judge Me, Hannibal is a Mess, Love, M/M, Philosophical ramblings, So is Will, Well - Freeform, aimless ramblings on what Will believes love to be, all dialogue at the end, except their victims, i love my mentally damaged boys, i'm aware that i wrote four hannibal fics in a row, look - Freeform, tbh tho what is love, the general pretentiousness that is hannibal fanfiction, they're alive and nothing hurts, this kinda evades category, thoughts on love, what is love if not mutual destruction?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24981163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiewrites307/pseuds/eddiewrites307
Summary: What is love, to those who have never experienced it? What is love to two beasts masquerading as men?
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Quod Si Non Amore Tuo In Corde Meo Ferro?

Will never claimed to know what love meant. He never claimed to have the answers to the age old question. Sure, his father had loved him, but only in the way a parent who never truly understood their child really could. He had a string of lovers in the past, but it was hard to ignore the overwhelming misunderstanding and fear that radiated from them, the knowledge that they were there solely for his pretty face and willingness to please.

Will knew the darkness of the world; was it unreasonable to ask for some of the light?   
So, no, Will never claimed to know love, never claimed to understand it. When asked if he had ever been in love, he would laugh awkwardly, shrug off the question, ask if one could imagine someone like him ever being loved. The answer was always nearly as uncomfortable as the initial question itself. 

Then Hannibal came.

Hannibal Lecter was a force of nature, a storm of the most destructive degree. He entered Will’s life, Will’s mind, shaking things up and throwing them around in order to see where they fell. He was single-minded chaos wrapped in a well-tailored plaid suit, he was the opposite of Will in everything -- refinery, class, education. He inserted himself into Will’s day, caring for Will with a gentle but firm hand, lecturing with the barest hint of kindest in his tone. He did care, that was the thing. He made sure Will was fed, he helped him center his thoughts, think through cases. Surely, this was love? Surely, it was simply Will who was falling apart, with no fault but his own?   


Then, the truth rang. Encephalitis. Being framed for crimes he knew he did not commit. Understanding who, exactly, was behind it, behind everything.

Will got released from the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. It became clear it was innocent, he didn’t belong there. However, no one pointed fingers at the real culprit, despite Will’s begging and pleading for them to  _ open their damn eyes _ .

Hannibal would never admit to what he had done, no, that much was clear. However, Will knew. Will would always know.

Will allowed Hannibal to insert himself back in his life. It was different, yet the same. He still made sure Will was fed, he still guided with a gentle hand, but now there was a barely disguised unhingedness, a monster visible behind the person suit. Will knew who he was, and he wasn’t running. No, no, he was seeing this through, he was proving what he had already known. 

Hannibal’s destruction was more evident now that Will was aware of who he was, was aware of the Ripper inside of him. Whether it was with a gesture as small as a hand on his shoulder, strong fingers gripping mercilessly, tight enough to bruise, or when it was Hannibal sending Randall Tier as a twisted gift to Will’s house, barely even blinking as he surveyed the body Will had lain across his dining room table.

Hannibal’s domineering status in Will’s life grew steadily more pronounced. He was a constant looming presence, a shadow that promised death. He was an overwhelming possessiveness that Will could practically taste every time he took a breath, a steady stream of  _ mine mine mine _ if anyone other than him dared to even touch Will.

This was Hannibal’s love, Hannibal’s design, and Will was set to drown in it.

Can one truly say they love if they did not hate? Can one exist without the other, two sides of one coin, conjoined into one dark, bitter being?   


Will had hated Hannibal, yes, but he had loved him first, and he had loved him again. Somehow he had opened his heart again to the man who had nearly destroyed him, and was grateful for it all the same.

After all, what was love, if not mutual destruction?

What is love, if not two people falling, hand in hand, into a dark abyss below, with no clue how or if they’ll land?   


Will closed his eyes as Hannibal’s possessive hand settled on his waste, and he allowed himself to be swept away.

~   


“Come with me.”   


“Where would we go?”   


“Everywhere. Anywhere, with you by my side. I would love to show you Florence, where I first became a man.”   


“I would love to see you, know you. Is that where you most know yourself?”   


“It is one of the places, yes. There are many I will not go, and that I will not allow you to go. You need not know my past, darling boy.”

“You know mine.”   


“You allowed me to know yours, in that lies the difference.”   


“I see.”   


“I know.”   


“Hannibal?”   


“Yes?”   


“What is love to you?”   


“Love is a form of ownership. I love you, therefore you belong to me. A chemical fault in humanity’s mind that controls and destroys, while people allow it to take root in their hearts. Love is a weapon, one to be used in the most desperate of crimes. Love is death, and death is love. Plato called love a mental illness. Do you agree, Will?”   


“You’re saying love is dangerous, a type of claim, and can only lead to ruin.”   


“Yes.”   


“I agree entirely.”

“And yet, you allowed yourself to love me.”   


“I in no way allowed it, it simply was. You love me as well.”   


“Yes, and I did not allow it to happen either. You slipped into my being as a knife slips into a heart. You have brought destruction upon my carefully crafted persona, my sweet William, and for that I love you all the more.”   


“You own me, and I will be your destruction.”   


“Yes.”   


“I’ve let myself be owned by you, and I’ll keep letting myself be owned by you. We have become one, no longer two separate states of being. I’ve lost track of where I end and where you begin.”   


“Perhaps there is no end and no beginning; perhaps we are simply one. Conjoined. You are me, and I am you. Is the thought truly so abhorrent that you wish to know where we separate?”   


“On the contrary, I want to crawl inside your skin and live with you forever. You made me, Hannibal, and without you I would be myself. I would still be hiding with my glasses, haunting the halls of the FBI.”   


“Are you saying I saved you?”   


“Among other things. The answer is yes, by the way.”   


“Yes?”   


“Yes, I’ll come with you. I’m yours, Hannibal, now and forever. Isn’t that what love is?”   


“Never ask a beast what love is, Will. All we know is claiming.”   


“Then claim me.”

“A dangerous offer.”   


“One I’d like to make. You do love me, and I love you. Two monsters made for one another, like something out of a deformed storybook.”   


“You claim to be a fairytale?”   


“No, I claim to be a story of our own making. One where we are the victors.”   


“And together, we shall watch the world burn.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title is Latin for "what is love if not your knife in my heart?" Yes, I am dramatic, edgy, and gay. This is not news.
> 
> God, I've been hyperfixating on Hannibal for months now and it's literally all I can write. I can't help it, they're so fascinating to get into the heads of.
> 
> Anyway, as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading, love y'all!!


End file.
